Monday, May 26, 2008

Today's Our 18th Wedding Anniversary

Yeah, this about a two-year old Christmas card pose. The wife still sits on my lap sometimes. The autistic kid on the right still looks where he wants. His older brother on the left is a great guy in every way but does only the hard look for the camera. The dog is still a doofus... and the buffalo pic is one my wife took up close and personal on an earlier anniversary jaunt through Custer State Park.

Doesn't seem all that long ago that I was getting ready to walk toward an altar that seemed an impossible distance away to undertake something that would seem impossible if one were to know all the twists, turns and falling rocks in advance. But here we are.

Ya know, our marriage license is from the State of California... does that make us honorary LGBT? Do we get any special entitlements if we go back there? If we are honorary LGBT, does that mean TEC will promote us to some special, perpetually funded position in some bureaucracy some place?

Well, probably no institutional perks - but we are blessed with the amazing marriage journey that can both break the heart and make it more into what God wants it to be.

Toward a better marriage, I give my wife space for response or rebuttal:

Wow, and thank you for requesting that we memorize our vows. This Monday will be the 19th time we have said them to each other by heart, with heart, having begun with our wedding day (don't do the math - it means it's our 18th anniversary).

OK, now here's a question. Southern CA accepts LGBT, I know that. But if one of us is a homosexual, well, you know, we likely wouldn't feel the way we do about each other and probably wouldn't have had those wonderful boys. Furthermore, if one was not, the Californians would only accept one of us and the other would be SO left out!

Then, if we both were g/l then neither would desire the other and I doubt that we'd be celebrating our marriage, even if California loves us to pieces.

Oh my goodness, I am just, like, SO confused! Does anyone out there have any help? (not that it matters, can't teach an old dog new tricks - that means both of us).

Praise the Lord that we are together, we have weathered some very strange stuff.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations to two of my favorite people. Continue to love each other!

The Oblate

Alice C. Linsley said...

May God grant you many years! In HIS sight you are simply "beloved children" and who cares what California thinks! I can say that since my father, my sister and I were born there. : )

David Handy+ said...

Yes, congratulations, Tim and Melissa. Peter Marshall, the former Senate Chaplain during the 1950s, was fond of describing marriage as "the halls of highest human happiness." Which it certainly is when things go as they are meant to go and a husband and wife continually grow in maturity and true intimacy and the ability to deeply love the other. Alas, as we all have seen happen far too often, a marriage gone sour can create a misery that is also the lowest pit of human wretchedness.

And you two have succeeded in building a strong, lasting marriage despite the considerable challenge of raising an autistic child. That certainly can't be taken for granted. Many couples find that challenge a millstone around their necks that sabotages their marriage. So, hat's off once again to you both. God bless you, now and always.

Here's a familiar biblical passage for you, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. Well, hey, any Christian could invoke that passage. As Anglicans, here's one from the Deutero-canonical books (Tobit) that most Protestants wouldn't think of: Tobit 8:6-7. Look it up. It's the heart of the beautiful prayer of Tobias and Sarah on their wedding night.